Clichés. We all use them in everyday conversation. They are shorthand phrases that we employ when we don’t have time to spell out what we mean in greater length. Sometime, often long ago, a clever person coined a word or phrase that was worth repeating. The problem for writers is that readers often see these catchphrases as unoriginal (which, of course, they are.) Readers may even roll their eyes as they see some old chestnut. (Is “old chestnut ” a cliché? Probably!)
I’ve been tasked with the job of leading a workshop for high school students on how to avoid clichés in their writing. “Avoid them like the plague!” you might say (but probably shouldn’t! LOL) To help prepare, I gave myself the challenge of writing a little flash fiction short-short story in which I threw in as many cliché phrases as possible. Read on! (And try not to cringe too much.)
How Cliché!
Kathryn Louise Wood
Once upon a time, a pig in a poke—who was often called a breath of fresh air and a ray of sunshine by those in the know—thought there’s no place like home until the cat was let out of the bag, and the elephant in the room looked a gift horse in the mouth.
“All that glitters is not gold,” murmured the pig, quiet as a mouse. “I may not see the forest for the trees, but at least I didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” he opined as he patted the horse. “No need to go hog wild. You have to take the good with the bad. Besides, he may be a diamond in the rough.”
Then a wolf in sheep’s clothing, who was known to carry all his eggs in one basket, became angry as a hornet and mad as a wet hen. “It’s plain as the nose on your face!” he yelled. “You’ve put the cart before the horse!”
Then a dark horse said, “You can’t pull the wool over my eyes. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know. That’s a horse of a different color, and you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”
“That may be true,” said a spring chicken, “but birds of a feather stick together, and you shouldn’t count your eggs before they’ve hatched. After all, it’s the early bird who catches the worm.”
“I don’t get your drift, Miss Hen,” said the pig. “But you’ve opened a can of worms now, and sometimes the worm turns! You might think I’m nutty as a fruit cake and mad as a hatter, but I’m the one who brings home the bacon, so a word to the wise: There’s no need to cry over spilled milk, and remember—laughter is the best medicine. Laugh and the world laughs with you! And if you don’t feel the joy, fake it ‘til you make it. Hey! I’m a poet and don’t know it!” said the pig and laughed like a hyena.
They all agreed that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and all’s well that ends well, so at the end of the day, they lived happily ever after.
Thanks for stopping by. Y’all come back, now. And may your smile be your umbrella until we meet again!
Kathryn